When something troubles us day after day, many adults can communicate the source of their distress, how they feel about it, and even their plan to address it. But for children, even those we consider teenagers, this behavior often exceeds their communication skills. When children cannot provide a detailed explanation of what’s bothering them and why, they may resort to challenging or distressed behavior.
As a caregiver, it can be difficult to identify when certain behaviors are the result of “acting out” and when they’re signs of emotional distress in a child. But when we understand what challenging behavior in children looks like, the sooner we can address the underlying causes of that child’s emotional distress. Quick identification can also prevent behavioral cycles that disrupt parents, families, teachers, and classrooms.
So, if you’re a parent or caregiver with questions, we’ve assembled the answers you’ve been searching for. Read on to learn how you can identify the signs, prevent challenging cycles, support your child, and get the professional care you and your child need.
Spotting Signs of Children in Distress
Every child is different and will express their emotions in their own unique ways. Their typical behaviors are also likely to change as they grow older and develop further. However, there are some common patterns experts identified for children at different age groups.
Signs of Distressed Behavior in Infants and Toddlers
The communication style of infants and toddlers has stark differences from adult to adult conversation. With no or limited vocabulary, caregivers must remember and interpret younger children’s behaviors to spot patterns. One pattern that may jump out is a child that’s more irritable and crying more frequently.
Caregivers may also notice a difference in the child’s daily activity. For example, distressed toddlers may eat and sleep at different times and experience more frequent bouts of hyperactivity. One sign that may be harder to notice, especially in infants, is a regression towards younger behaviors.
Emotional Distress In Pre-Schoolers
When children start leaving the house each day for school or other activities, they may experience stress or separation anxiety. This can lead to many behaviors similar to those in distressed toddlers, like increased irritability, different sleeping patterns, and a seeming regression.
For children ages 4-6 though, they express their distress through complete silence. Unlike toddlers and infants who may be unable to communicate in language recognized by adults, pre-schoolers usually communicate in their caregiver’s language. When they cease speaking, this can be a clear indication that the child is experiencing emotional distress.
School-Aged (7-12) Children in Distress
If a school-aged child experiences emotional distress, they may withdraw from others. They may develop a heightened fear of everything and everyone as a way to protect themselves from further harm. If there was a specific event that triggered this emotional distress, an emotionally distressed child may repeatedly talk about the event.
When they speak of this event or situation, they may express guilt or blame themselves for it occurring. This guilt can manifest in physical symptoms associated with anxiety, like stomachaches. Similarly, their emotional distress may create memory problems or difficulty concentrating.
Distressed Teenagers
Out of all the age groups discussed, feelings of anxiety and depression are most common among teenagers. The most recent data shows that 15% of teenagers experience diagnosed anxiety. Rather than expressing these feelings orally, teenagers may instead retreat and withdraw from social or familial interaction.
Teenagers may also become more aggressive and self-destructive as a way to express their anger towards the source of their emotional distress. For caregivers, this may be confusing as their teenager may also demonstrate seemingly excessive concern for others coupled with hopelessness. While they may be seeking attention, it’s not for attention’s sake. Often, it’s a method of physically expressing complicated emotions in the hope that someone will understand.
Avoid the Cycle of Challenging Behavior
When children exhibit any of the previously mentioned behaviors, it can create real challenges for caregivers and families. However, behavior is deemed challenging when it disrupts a child’s development and socialization. Challenging behaviors, like withdrawal, aggression, difficulty concentrating, psychosomatic symptoms, or refusing to speak, prevent children from engaging in the world around them.
As caregivers, we might expect that this behavior is temporary, or “a phase.” It’s easy to assume that when the challenging behavior subsides, it signals the end of the distressing experience. However, the challenging behaviors may come and go, not at random, but as part of the cycle of challenging behavior. This cycle typically proceeds in the following four stages:
- A trigger, whether external or internal, initiates the cycle. External triggers may come from a disruption to the child’s routine, while an internal trigger could come from the child’s own feelings of tiredness or hunger. Or, a series of minor triggers can build up until the cycle begins.
- The trigger creates irritability, which can escalate into challenging behaviors. As the cycle escalates, the child may raise their voice as they become more defiant and restless.
- The cycle eventually reaches a crisis where the distressed child may cry and become aggressive, or completely shut down and withdraw from the situation.
- After the crisis, the child begins to recover. The challenging behaviors de-escalate and the child may experience regret or confusion regarding what transpired.
This cycle can repeat numerous times without the child or caregiver realizing it. However, with consistent documentation regarding the triggers, caregivers can begin to unravel and break this cycle. They can intervene before a trigger escalates into a crisis or remove potential triggers from the child’s life. This results in a supportive household that allows the child to develop and thrive.
Support for Children Displaying Distressed Behaviors
Distressing behaviors, like the emotions that create them, do not pass on their own. Even adults require the support and care of others to endure and overcome emotionally challenging periods. When we don’t know what’s causing an issue, or whether there’s an issue at all, it creates paralyzing confusion. That uncertainty leaves you wondering how to help a child with mental health issues.
- Documentation: Recording challenging behaviors in a journal can help caregivers uncover what may be causing distress and help professionals diagnose and treat more serious mental health disorders. Documenting the behavior, the situation that preceded it, and the child’s state after are all essential pieces of information.
- Open Communication: Creating and supporting open lines of communication between you and your child can help at any age. What form that communication takes may vary based on age, for example, having a younger child draw their emotions may be easier for them. When children have a clear path to communicate and get their needs met, they will use that path.
- Routines: Consistent routines create a safe environment for children in distress. When children have a clearer picture of how their day will proceed, there’s less need for hypervigilance, fear, and anxiety.
When Children Need Professional Care
While creating a supportive environment may alleviate and eliminate the source of a child’s distress, there may be times when a household requires professional help. When children display distressed behavior more frequently, consistently, and intensely, it may be time for professional services.
As a first step, you can consult with your primary care provider or seek direct help from a psychologist or psychiatrist. They can conduct an evaluation, using your documentation of the behavior, their medical history, school reports, and potentially, an interview with the child.
How KID Inc. Cares For Children & Supports Parents
At KID Inc., we believe that all children deserve caring, loving, and supportive homes. When that isn’t the case, we step in and step up to provide services to children and families experiencing distressing times. Our dedicated team provides individual, family, and group therapy in various modalities to identify and soothe the source of distress in the child’s life. For some children, just having space and time to play enables them to express and overcome distressing emotions.
We have highly trained professionals on staff, ready to provide treatment and support for common childhood issues like ADD/ADHD, anxiety, and school adjustment. We also guide children and their families through anger issues, divorce, and grief. Escape the cycle of challenging behavior with KID Inc.
How You Can Support Children in Distress Through KID Inc.
Caring for children isn’t limited to our professional team, though. When you support KID Inc., whether through a donation or volunteering, you directly support children in distress. Donations provide critical capacity to create safe, nurturing environments for children, while volunteers add a helping hand to everything we do. Learn more about how you can support KID Inc. and improve the lives of children in South Florida.